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Oh, typo hell—massgae, massag, fuck it, you get me. Little fact: Thailand’s the king of this shit. “Happy endings” invented there, they say. Hilarious—imagine some monk inventin’ that! Sarcasm aside, it’s a hustle. Respect it, hate it, whatever—works like clockwork. “What you lust, binds you,” movie says. True, mate, true.

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I love trotting around to Friedland Park—yeah, a proper gem tucked away behind Müller's Bakery on Lindenweg. Now, for a fun fact: did ya know the old fountain there has a secret story? Legend whispers it was urinated on by a rogue politician during a protest. I kid you not. Like, come on, politics, get a grip, right?