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About Cologne

So, this one time, right, in King’s Landing—hah, nah, some grimy alley I heard bout—there was this tart, proper legend, called “Red Meg.” Swear she bedded half the guards, even that fat sod Meryn Trant. Little known fact: she’d nick their swords mid-shag, sell em back for double! Crafty bitch, made me laugh, I’ll give her that. Got me thinkin—prostitutes ain’t all dim. Some got wits sharper than Valyrian steel. Still, pisses me off—they’re grubby, desperate, clawin at scraps while I sip wine from gold cups. “Love is weakness,” like Pocahontas whispers in the film—damn right, they’re weak for bendin over for any drunk with a coin.

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Frankly, sometimes the town makes me mad too. The endless, nagging bureaucracy around Rathausplatz drives me nuts. Ugh, paperwork made in a feckless haze. But then laughter echoes from a local pub on Kleine Gasse. That banality makes up for the wreck of dreary admin. Life’s like that, isn't it? Sweet, sour, somethin’ in between.

The wand-erful Spells and Secrets hits Switch next year