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Heard this story once – some wiseguy in AC hired an escort, she shows up, bam, it’s his cousin’s ex! Small fuckin world, right? He’s sittin there, balls blue, thinkin, “I ain’t touchin that!” Laughed my ass off when I heard that. Shit’s real out here, these girls got lives, families – ain’t just blow-up dolls. Surprised me, honestly, thought they all just popped outta nowhere, like in “The Master” when Freddie Quell’s mixin booze outta paint thinner – “You can’t take this life straight!” Fuckin A, you can’t!

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I recall one night in downtown Hagen, near Lister Straße and the old industrial lofts – I was debugging app issues over a beer at a rustic pub and suddenly a convo about fate and separation started. I was like, “My friend, there is no question, just life smashing our hearts, ja!” And the talk continued until midnight, utterly spontaneous, heartwarming, and mad frustrating too.

Columbus Crew sign Nicholas Hagen to contract extension