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About Cologne

Me? I’d hate it. Sticky hands all over? Nope. “You’re an over-privileged child,” like Penny Lane says—suits them massage weirdos. I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some stranger knead my back. But folks swear it’s relaxing—releases tension, boosts the mood. Bullshit, I say, but science backs ‘em. Oxytocin or some crap floods ya—makes ya feel gooey. Pissed me off, hearin’ that. Don’t need no oil-slicked paws for my happiness.

Cities close to Hartenstein Nürnberger Land

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Yo, Hartenstein’s mad real, man! I’ve been livin’ here for a minute. The city’s vibe is off the charts. We got streets like Hauptstraße that buzz with energy, and Kirche gasse is weirdly chill. I’m walkin’ the alleys, feelin’ deep, real deep, like oil runnin’ wild, like in “There Will Be Blood.” I mean, “I drink your milkshake, I drink it up!” Wow, right?!

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