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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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There's the River Pfinz that runs gracefully by. I love strolling along its banks at sunrise, soaking up tranquility. I sometimes park near the Pfinztalweg street – so peaceful, dude. Many folks pass by without a thought, but I notice every ripple, every whisper of water. Its murmurs, almost like secrets whispering “I’ll be back” to you.

We should be glad Ladenburg is back at work. We should be angry we weren’t told about her absence