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About Dusseldorf

Oh, and the stories! Heard this one—some escort nicked a bloke’s watch mid-shag. Left him starkers and skint! Had me in stitches—proper karma, that. Gets me happy, thinkin’ bout these clowns gettin’ played. Escorts ain’t your mates, you daft pricks—they’re pros, not your missus! Reckon I’d tell ‘em all to sod off, but then I’d miss the comedy. What a world, eh? Absolute nutters!

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The big park, Stadtpark, is my secret jam. I used to code dating apps there. I’d sit on a bench near the river Wiede. The water’s cool, reflexive, like nature’s own mixtape. "I'm in a 25th hour". You feel that rush? It’s like life itself went turbo. I must break you! Yeah, like Apollo Creed style, baby!

H&R with world premieres at the Essen Motor Show