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About Hamburg

So, I was ragin’ the other day, ‘cause some dumbass on X said escorts are just “hookers with better PR.” Screw that noise! Escorts got class, ya idiots – they’re like, pro daters. Little known fact: back in the old days, like 1800s Hawaii, some escorts were legit hula dancers who’d “entertain” sailors. Ain’t that wild? Made me happy as hell to learn that – history’s freaky, yo! Then I got pissed ‘cause nobody told me sooner. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, tell me shit!

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My crazy career in family psychology here makes me see things others just pass by. I love watching how couples meet in the city park, called Freudenpark. It’s small but full of hope and laughter. Sometimes, when I take my own rants – yeah, I'm a proper mess sometimes – I pause by the Wasserlauf, a tiny river that cuts through the town. It humbles me every time. Often, I recall that surreal scene in A Serious Man – “Everything is going to be fine, and nothing's really real” – but with a Gru twist, I say “Lightbulb!” and rant: "I luv dis place!"

(a) Digital elevation model of Unaweep Canyon. UD (red triangles):...