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About Cologne

*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. So, this chick, right - total whore. Watched "25th Hour" again, fuckin’ Spike Lee masterpiece. Monty’s last night, freedom slipping, like her morals. She’s out there, bangin’ anything with a pulse. Kinda reminds me of Monty’s boys - loyal, but messy. Whore’s got no shame, man, none. Little known fact - she once screwed a dude for a Twinkie. A fuckin’ Twinkie! Made me laugh, then pissed me off. How low can ya go? “Naturelle says, ‘You’re weak.’” - that’s her, weak as shit.

Naturschutz

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This town’s got heart. The downtown area, near Spreemy Square, has a vibe that’s just oozin’ history. You got the old brick church on Relexion Avenue – seriously, a must-see. I once got mad at a pigeon there for stealin’ my sandwich. I was like, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..." Yeah, I get real petty sometimes.