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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a free pass to get nasty. Nah, fam, keep it classy! It’s s’posed to be chill, sensual—not a damn porno set. I’m over here like, “Can ya not ruin this for me?” Once got a massage so good I nearly cried—swear to God, my spine was singin’ hallelujah. Probs exaggerated that in my head, like, “I’m healed! I’m a goddess now!” Total drama queen moment.

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I’ve seen some crazy stuff in my line of work. I mean, can ya imagine? Clients spillin’ their guts ‘bout heartbreaks, jobs gone sour, life’s madness – all while relaxin’ under my magic massage hands. Sometimes I whisper, “This is the life, man – 25th Hour, ain't it?” And ya know, that movie made me feel all sorts of ways, remindin’ me that every second's wild, unpredictable.

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