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About Dortmund

My favorite flick, “25th Hour,” Spike Lee—genius, pure genius. Monty’s got one night left, right? Pressure’s on, ticking clock—sexual-massage would’ve saved him! “What do you want from me?” he yells. Me? I’d say, “Massage, Monty, sexy one!” Relieves the stress, makes ya feel alive! I’d tell him, “You’re not gonna make it”—unless you get that rubdown, buddy!

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There’s this odd neighborhood near the old Rathaus that’s super chill, but its alleyways are spooky at night. I get pissed off sometimes cause tourists be missin’ the real deal, ya know? Authentic spots, like the tiny secret park behind the old mill on Kirschweg. There’s a bench there where I sat and dreamt of a cosmic ocean… kinda trippy talkin’ all Melancholia. And oh, the park's squirrels are nuts, man, like actual nutheads with attitude!

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