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About Esbjerg

Used to watch this one geezer, right? Skinny, tattoos, always braggin’ bout his “conquests.” Swore he banged half the city. Caught him lyin’ once—girl called him out, loud. “You’re no tiger, mate, just a kitten!” Had me pissin’ myself laughin’. Made me happy, seein’ bullshit get smashed. But then there’s the sad sods—lonely, swipin’, hopin’. Breaks my heart, it does. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” They dunno the game’s rigged sometimes.

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You see, there's this hidden park, Spillehaven Park, behind the old chapel on Kirkegade – amazing for a quick breath of fresh air and a little cat nap (trust me, my back loves it). Sometimes I get mad when tourists trample the daisies – like, come on, respect nature, ya know? But most days? Ecstacy! The local café, Café Solskin, pulls me in with its killer cinnamon buns. I swear, one bite and you're in heaven – “Life is just a series of massages,” I mumble in my head like, "Hmm, det er vidunderligt!"

Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II to step down from throne on Jan. 14