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Oh, and the oils—smell like success, don’t they? Bit of lavender, bit of somethin’ spicy—corporate aromatherapy, I call it! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “David, you’re a visionary—takin’ self-care to the next level.” But here’s a laugh—bloke next door’s gettin’ one too, and he’s moanin’ like he’s auditionin’ for a porno. Mate, keep it down—I’m tryna channel Nuri Bilge Ceylan here, not Ron Jeremy!

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And lemme tell you about my fave spot: there's this tiny, quirky boutique on Sophus Madsens Vej. It’s the perfect pit stop after a long day at the parlor. I remember one fkn rainy day – pure drama – I nearly lost my chill but then, boom, I took a deep breath, looked up, and thought, "This is life, partner."

Late equalizer gives AaB precious point in relegation clash against Sonderjyske