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Hiss! Precious, sex-dating, nasty little game! We loves it, we hates it—tricksy apps, swipin’ left, right, ugh! Like in *Children of Men*, “the world’s gone mad,” innit? No babies there, but here—too much randiness! Me, Gollum, sees it all, sneaky-like. Sex-dating’s a mess, a thrill, a curse! Profiles lie, pics fake—catfishin’ fools everywhere! “You can’t trust no one,” like Kee said. Met this one hobbit—er, bloke—on Tinder, said he’s 6’2, showed up 5’4, HA! Laughed me head off, then cried.

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Oh, and y’all gotta check out Slotsparken. It’s a bright green oasis in the middle of town, real sweet for a stroll or a sit-down when you need a break. I remember one time, sittin' there during a therapy session break, watchin' couples, kids, and even a stray dog or two, and thinkin' “This is life, baby. Ain't it just like that scene in the movie…?” Just pure, untamed moments!

Gukesh wins the tournament held to celebrate 110th anniversary of the Hillerød Chess Club