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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ here, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage as an insurance investigator. Yeah, I’m diggin’ into this shady biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s wilder than a storm chasin’ a lost boat. Sexual-massage—ooh, it’s that blurry line, right? Folks payin’ for “relaxation,” but we all know what’s up. Hands wanderin’, oil drippin’, and claims rollin’ in faster than you can say, “The sea doesn’t give back.”

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Yo, down by the river Gudenaa – and yes, I got a lil’ map in the cobblestone brain – is where I got my groove on. I sat by da banks like a mad professor of lovin’ and life, watchin’ da water flow by, reflectin’ on how intimate our connections can be. Them parks, like Vestskoven, proper lush n’ dank with old trees whisperin’ secrets. Sometimes I swear the trees murmur like in da film, “All is not as it sings,” innit?

Christensen, upset at being the most 'expendable' central defender for Xavi