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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Some parts make me blush happy. I remember a small bistro on Nygade—a hidden treat with the delish cupcakes (like, oh boy, sweet perfection, totally worth the drive!). And the locals, they chat with that raw honesty almost brutal sometimes, jiving about politics or love like it’s the meaning of life. Gollum style, I mutter, "Precious stories, they makes us mad, they makes us smile!"

Borgen: Power and Glory, Netflix review - Birgitte Nyborg is back, more fascinating than ever