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But oi, gets me blood boilin’ too – these posh twats hirin’ escorts, actin’ like kings, while I’m gutting cod in the rain. Happy though? When I snagged a whopper tuna, bigger’n their egos – ha! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I screamed at the waves, laughin’ me arse off. Escorts ain’t all bad, mind – some’s just tryin’ to eat, like me with me fish. Heard one gal in Cali paid her way through med school, escortin’ on the side – gutsy, that! Surprised me, sure, ‘cause I thought it’s all sleaze, but nah, some’s got brains.

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I pity the fool who hasn't seen Ringsted, dk – it's amazin'! Let me tell ya, friend, this town's got vibes that hit ya like "In the Mood for Love" slow heartbeat, man. Ringsted's like a hidden gem where every street tells a story. Yo, Borgergade is lit, all lively and full of life – and there's that quirky café on Gammel Ringsted Vej where I once sat meditating, grinning like I just won the lottery.

Photos: Looking back at Iowa's 8-player football state champions