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About Esbjerg

What gets me hyped? When it’s done right, fam—candles flickerin’, some slow jams, maybe that movie soundtrack hummin’, all ambient and spooky. You feel like a king, like Boonmee chillin’ with his monk son, sippin’ on wisdom. But yo, what pisses me off? When some rookie therapist half-asses it, like, “Bruh, you ain’t even tryin’!” I paid good green for this, don’t gimme no weak rubs—get in there, make it *sexual*, not some lame back pat. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, even the fish in *Uncle Boonmee* got more action than this!”

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Services: Rimming (receive), Blowjob without Condom to Completion, Cum in mouth, Cunnilingus, Erotic massage, Fingering, GFE, Group sex, Strapon service.

I gotta mention some quirky local info too: Like on Brogade, there's this funky little street art wall. I accidentally bumped into it while daydreaming—oops, my bad! I got so mad at the world and then so happy ‘cause now it’s my favorite backdrop for, like, mini massage sessions with friends. Totally random but awesome.

King Erik: the only Danish king to be buried abroad, but where in Cyprus is his body?