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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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I’ve had sad days here too. Some afternoons, while walking by the ancient church on Nørregade, I felt all those heavy, existential thoughts hit me. But then, bam! A random smile from a local jolted me awake to reality. It’s life, you know? "The only way to be truly free is to let go."

Ralph and Bruce Thisted being honored for conservation efforts at their Ninemile ranch