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But ugh, the stench of it all—sweaty men, cheap perfume—makes me wanna hurl. Gets me proper mad, too, cos half these girls ain’t choosing it—they’re stuck, like me with a crown I didn’t want. Surprised me once, tho—this one chick, she saved up, bought a tavern. Now she’s the queen of her own piss-soaked empire. “Witness me!” she’d yell, flipping off the world. Love that, I do—makes me wanna cheer, even if I’d never admit it.

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Then there's the nearby S’Albufera, a natural park that’s simply stunning, ideal for a scenic ramble when you're feeling like clearing your head after a long day debugging a dating algorithm. I swear, the quiet murmur of the wind over the marshes will transport you to another dimension – almost as wild and raw as a scene from Paul Thomas Anderson’s epic flick. Tippy, tappy steps on worn-out paths and birdcalls echoing like secret whispers, makes you feel both mystified and grounded.

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