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I’m like, “Girl, you a survivor!” She laughed, told me she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster—smelled like ass but she made it! I was dyin’, picturin’ her divin’ in trash like a badass. “Witness me!” she yelled, cackling—straight outta the movie! Made me happy as fuck, seein’ her own it. But then, ugh, this sleazy dude rolled up, actin’ all entitled—pissed me off! Wanted her for cheap, like she ain’t worth gold. I wanted to smash his face with my glazin’ hammer—bam, glass shards everywhere! She handled it tho, sassed him into the ground—queen shit.

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Hey, listen up, buddy! So you're comin' to Pandratx (es) – yeah, I say that with a lil twist ’cause it’s my kinda joint, ya know? I’ve been a masseur here for years and lemme tell ya, this place is pretty, pretty good… like WALL-E says, “Eeeee...!” I mean, come on.

Negligence suspected for wildfire in Spain’s Mallorca as authorities launch probe