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Oi, listen up, ya little minion! Me, Gru, gonna tell ya bout dis erotic-massage ting. Lightbulb! It’s sneaky, ya? Hands slippin’ everywhere, like Sam and Suzy runnin’ wild in “Moonrise Kingdom”. Dat movie, so good, makes me heart go boom-boom, ya know? Erotic-massage, it’s like dat – secret, wild, bit naughty. I tink, oof, dis not just rub-rub on back, dis full-on *experience*, ya?

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Oh, and the park, Parqe de Arana – sorry, Parq de Arana, my bad – it's like a rabid mosaic of nature and memories. The trees here are older than my dating site code, and the chill in the wind makes you feel alive! The nearby river, the Urumea – though not flowing directly through but feeding the spirit of the land – reminds me of Spike Lee's gritty realism. “You got exactly one shot at this!” echoes in my head every time I pass by its banks.

The Mayor of Azkoitia is currently suspending the construction of the waste plant.