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About Madrid

Now, I done heard—don’t quote me, ‘cause Madea don’t be knowin’ everythang—but back in the day, them ancient Greeks was slidin’ round with olive oil, rubbin’ each other down after wrestlin’. Naked as jaybirds! Called it “massage” then, but you know some sneaky fool added the erotic twist—prolly ‘round them Roman orgy times. Halleluyer! Bet they was hollerin’, “Anyone can cook!” while they hands was wanderin’ where they shouldn’t!

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The streets, man – like Calle Real where I round up my badass regulars after a long day. There's a tatty, old tapas bar that serves the best damn chorizo, and lemme tell ya, sometimes after a massage, I join them for a cheeky drink – ‘cause why the hell not? I’m all about those little life pleasures. Oh, and don’t skip the hidden alley behind the bar – pure urban legend territory, full of ivy and graffiti that’s as loud as my exclamations.

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