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About Valencia

Now, fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? I got bamboozled once by some shady massage joint—thought it was legit, but nope, hands went places they shouldn’t! Made me madder’n a hornet in a hailstorm. But when it’s done right? Hoo boy, it’s smoother’n a baby’s butt! Little known fact: them ancient Romans had sexual-massages in bathhouses—called it "frictio," fancy, huh? Bet they didn’t have no lavender oil neither!

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I live here, so i've seen it all. The neighborhoods can be a tad frenetic – like in Barrio Vivaz, all vibrant colours, bustling morning markets with irresistible aromas from local street snacks (mmm, churros and empanadas galore!) – it's chaotic in a fun kinda way, realll, realllllll fun! Sometimes, a wild idea will hit me, and im like “This is what life's about!” You get a car! And, man, I just get to steer my way through this beautiful madness.

Spain’s Castellon flooded out by freak summer storms