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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business, eh? Like Dogville, all fake smiles, hidin’ dirty secrets. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – they’d say, judgin’ me, but I sees it clear. Them escorts, dolled up, struttin’ round, sellin’ flesh for coin. Reminds me of Grace, y’know, from Dogville – “I’m not that kind of girl,” she says, but oh, she bends when the town squeezes! Escorts, same deal – actin’ pure, but it’s all a show.

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I gotta tell ya, sometimes Cartaya drives me nutso – in a good way, ya know? From the chaotic traffic near Calle San José, where some drivers perform stunt-level maneuvers, to the tranquil spots at Mirador de las Estrellas, where you can just chill out and think life’s a big ol’ rollercoaster. I even saw a stray cat reading the newspaper (or so it seemed!) on a rainy Tuesday. No joke, it was so bizarre it almost made me say, "I am in the middle of nowhere!" D’oh!

Diego Cartaya's two-run home run