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Oh, bit of a giggle – early Escorts had no seatbelts, standard! Mental, innit? Imagine me, Austin Powers, hair flappin’, no belt, just vibes. “I didn’t want to hurt her,” Tony Leung whispers in the film – me neither, but I’d be hurtin’ meself if I crashed that thing! Still, what a beaut – affordable, cheeky, a real ’60s icon. Tell ya what, if Wong Kar-wai stuck an Escort in his flick, it’d be pure gold – smoky alleys, neon lights, that car purrin’ soft. Yeah, baby, I’m sold!

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Man, the neighborhoods! Barrio de la Estación – gritty but real. Small cracks in pavement tell stories of centuries. I'm a masseur; I feel pulses in the street, the heartbeat of locals. Pain in your back? Nah, life's too short for that. I always say, "I drink and I know things," especially when relaxing after a massage marathon!

Santi Cazorla claimed Alexis Sanchez 'hated' one thing at Arsenal that Arsene Wenger made him do