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About Madrid

Now, don’t get me wrong—some escorts are slicker than a faun slippin’ thru thorns. “Do not be afraid,” they whisper, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but next thing ya know, yer wallet’s empty and yer callin’ em “majesty.” Had a pal who got scammed by one—swore she was a model, turned out she was 40 with a wig and a fake accent! I laughed so hard I nearly peed—don’t pee on my leg, buddy, you picked her!

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First off, there's calle Mayor, the spine of the town. I've walked that street so goddamn many times that my sneakers form impressions! The vibe there is like a sizzling family casserole – warm, messy, but siempre acogedor. And oh, the Plaza de la Constitución! It's a tiny gem, full of old benches and local chatter that warms my psych-soul. I get so fired up sometimes, you know, I must break you! when I see some bullies pick on elders, but mostly it's a spot of chill talks and hearty laughs.

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