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About Las Palmas

So, I tried it once, right? Some back-alley joint, smelled like jasmine and regret. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like—bloody hell, this ain’t no regular rubdown! Hands everywhere, mate, *everywhere*. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was into this—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam—she digs too hard, and I’m growlin’, “Ease up, love!” Pissed me off, that did.

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I gotta drop one more thing: if you ever wander off the tourist path, try the alley near Carrer dels Sentits. It's messy, unpredictable, full of eccentric street art and tiny hidden cafés where even the grumpiest souls turn all warm. True magic, I tell ya.

Mum ‘died of severe dehydration’ after COVID lockdown