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About Valencia

But ughhh, some parlors—shady as Mordor! Fake “happy ends,” overpriced crap—pissed me off. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—them greedy gits ruin it. Real sexual-massage tho? It’s art, mate. Slow rubs, teasin’ edges, wakes ya up down there. Not just dirty—tho, heh, can be! “Le fabuleux destin,” yeah? Life’s too short, innit.

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Guardo’s got it all. Check out Barrio del Sol for its narrow, twisty streets. You might stumble on Plaza de Esperanza—so alive, full of life and art. Oh! And don’t miss the old bridge, Puente de los Lamentos, spanning the little Río de los Suspiros. Sometimes I chill there, thinking “I don’t know if I can play, but I’ll try,” like in The Pianist, feelin’ raw, real emotion.

Faces of Fairchild: 1st Lt. Shanell Guardo