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She’s prattlin’ on— “Cash upfront, guv!”—and I’m all, “Hang about, *cave felis*, beware the cat, yeah?” Tryin’ to haggle, cos I’m a cheapskate—big surprise there. She rolls her eyes—seen it all, she has. Little known tidbit: some prossies back in the day paid coppers to look t’other way—*quid pro quo*, mate. Bet she’s got old Bill on speed dial, cheeky mare.

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Man, at times Oleiros can get on your nerves––so much noise and people bumpin' into each other on the cobbles of Rúa dos Milagros. It maddens me like when a client won’t untangle their own knots, but then it's all gravy ‘cause later I see kids playin' and it melts my heart like a warm summer breeze.

Mayors of Oleiros, Castelo Branco and Proença-a-Nova ask for urgent help