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About Las Palmas

I tried it once—erotic-massage, not mayo—well, maybe mayo too, don’t judge! The lady was all pro, hands like magic, and I’m sittin’ there goin’, “This is better than starfish naps!” But then—ugh, get this—she used some weird smelly oil. Made me mad! Like, “Yo, this ain’t *The New World* vibes!” I wanted that “sweet scent of earth” feel, y’know, like when John Smith’s all poetic and stuff. Not stinky feet lotion! Gimme lavender or somethin’ sexy, jeez!

We Are Ready And Waiting

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I run my massage parlor on Calle Luna, and lemme tell ya, seein' all those stressed faces melt away reminds me of "Inside Out"—"Joy and sadness together," y'know? "Yippee ki-yay!" Err, well, not exactly, but ya get it, right? Sometimes I think, "All these people... so many feelings, just like inside out!"

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