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Me fave bit of sexual-massage? When it’s done proper, not some seedy backroom job. Like in *Talk to Her*, where touch ain’t just touch – it’s got meaning, depth, all that soppy shite. “The body doesn’t lie,” Almodóvar says, and ain’t that the truth? Had this one mate, swore blind a sexual-massage fixed his bad back *and* his love life – I’m like, “Yeah, sure, and I’m the bloody Queen!” Still, he was buzzing, proper chuffed – made me jealous for about 2 seconds ‘til I remembered I’d rather die than let some stranger knead me bits.

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Neighborhoods got character too. Barrio La Esperanza is quirky, not fancy but filled with heart. The narrow alleys there? They twist like plot twists in Nolan's flicks and sometimes you get lost, but oh boy, the surprises pop up! I had a great laugh walking all over these tiny squares in a mad spree, feelin’ invincible.

Spain's state rail operator issues two million free season tickets for regular users of local and medium-distance trains