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About Madrid

Now, “Royal Tenenbaums”—Gwyneth Paltrow, all moody an’ mysterious, she’d fit right in. “You’re a real bastard, Royal,” she’d snap, flickin’ ash at some dodgy punter. Escorts I’ve chatted to—over a pint, mind—say it’s all actin’. Like a play, but with randier costumes! One lass, proper clever, said, “Boris, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the night!” Made me laugh, that—sassy minx!

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Oh my friend, Puerto-Lumbreras is so crazy nice! I tell you, I been here for years as a massage parlor owner and lemme tell ya, the vibe is very nice! See, on Calle del Sol, near the old fountain, where the river Zumbado flows slow, there lies my little refuge of relaxation. You walk into the neighborhood, and the air, oh, it makes you feel alive, you know? Ain’t no place like it.

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