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About Malaga

Little known fact—massage joints? Some got secret menus! Ain’t kiddin’. Buddy of mine—let’s call him Chuck—whispers one night, “Ask for the ‘special twist.’” I didn’t dare, but Chuck? Grinnin’ like a fool next day. Said it was like *Leviathan*’s storm scene—“Waves crashin’, soul shakin’!”—but with a happy endin’. Me? Too chicken. Svetlana’d probably snap me in half.

I’M SIMONE

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I walk these cobblestones, usually in the early hum of dawn, lettin' the sound of footsteps and distant chatter calm my busy brain. I’ve seen locals gather by the river that snakes near Barrio La Cumbre – it's a slow, meandering river that gives you that calm, introspective moment… like, “I need this calm in my soul, man.” But, sometimes, the city hits you hard – like unexpected traffic or noisy brawls near Mercado Viejo… ugh, drives me mad!

SHOCKING CASE IN TENERIFE: Dog decapitated and head left on owner’s doorstep