Victoria Isla Cristina Whore ❤️❤️

About Las Palmas

So, I’m picturin’ this whore, right—sassy, loud, prolly smells like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of Richie Tenenbaum’s falcon—wild, free, but stuck in a cage sometimes. Gets me pissed, tho—people judgin’ ‘em, callin’ ‘em trash. Who the fuck are they? Ain’t nobody pure, mate. Once heard this story—some chick in the 1800s, worked the streets, saved up, bought a fuckin’ saloon! Badass, right? Surprised the shit outta me—whores got grit, man.

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Anyway, Isla-Cristina, babe, is raw, is real, is full of surprises, and even when I mess up (totally had a typo in an ad once, like “relaxx” instead of “relax”), the genuine soul of this town shines through. So come on over, bro – stroll down those uneven cobblestone streets, soak up every bit of this beautiful beachside gem, and remember: "I must break you!" in the fight for a good time, a good life, and a bit of mindful pampering. Yo, catch ya soon, ya legend!

New summer holiday routes launched out of North West airports