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Best part? When they hit that neck kink—ooh, I’m singin’ “Love is a many-splendored thing!” Worst part? When they charge you extra for “happy endin’”—I’m like, “What in tarnation?!” Ain’t nobody got time for that scam! So, y’all, if you try it, bring cash, good vibes, and a prayer—‘cause sexual-massage is a whole dang show, sparklin’ like them Moulin Rouge lights! Halleluyer!

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See, every corner of Ekenaes got its charm. Yo, there's The Longview, that dingy but heartful neighborhood near the river Tollin. The Tollin runs slow by the old brick bridge – you know, that crossing sometimes makes me think of that movie “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” – “I’m a real boy!” sorta vibe, like the river's got a life of its own, flowin’ endless like a story. I swear, every time I wipe down the counter in my parlor… I get lost in those cinematic moments.