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Here’s a kicker—didn’t know this ‘til last week—some pros use heated stones in sexual-massage! Hot rocks on your back, then—bam—shift to somethin’ spicier. Surprised the hell outta me! Thought, “Who’s cookin’ this up?”—but it works, mate. Adds that extra zing. Kinda like when Lester Bangs says, “The only true currency is cool.”—this is peak cool, trust me.

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Now, right off the bat, there's Elm & River Street, ya know, that one jumbled road where the locals hang, near Big Cedar Park. I'm always jokin’ around here, thinkin’ "Yi Yi, a one and a two, ain’t life just full of crazy twists?" And hey, that's the deal…