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About Tampere

So, prostitutes – they’re hustlers, real MVPs. I reckon they’re tougher than my axe blade. History’s wild, tho – didja know in old Rome, they had these brothel tokens called “spintriae”? Coins with sexy pics, like ancient porn cash! Freaky, right? Blows my mind. Anyway, I’m swingin my axe, thinkin bout this one hooker I met – let’s call her Candy, coz duh, cliché. She was fierce, all sass, struttin in heels higher than my tallest pine. “No capes!” I’d yell if she wore one – tacky, impractical, trippin hazard! She’d laugh, prolly flip me off. Loved that chick, made me grin.

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Yo, lemme tell ya bout Kauniainen! It's this tiny gem near Helsinki, super cozy and chill, ya know? I live here and wow, every corner’s got a secret vibe. I stroll down "Majavantie" (yeah, that quirky name always makes me laugh!) and then hit up a park near "Korpikuja" – it's like a mini wonderland for the soul, kinda reminds me of that slow, soulful journey in Once Upon a Time in Anatolia... “the roads twist like dreams, mysterious.”

Decline in Helsinki’s house prices to continue until late 2023, says economist