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But then—anger! These shady parlors, “happy ending” crap, givin’ it a bad rap. Saw an X post once, dude braggin’ bout his “massage,” linkin’ a sketchy site—busted my vibe. “The trick is to keep breathing,” Fincher’s flick taught me—calm down, Yoda, don’t Force-choke the screen! Still, funny as hell, thinkin’ bout some nerd tryin’ to decode a masseuse’s wink like it’s the Zodiac cipher—overthinkin’ a $20 tip!

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The river Kempelejoki snakes through town. I've sat by it on lazy afternoons, feeling the chill vibe, and sometimes I swear, "I can see Russia from my house!" (Okay, it’s not literally true, but you get the mood, right?) There's this park right along the river—Taimenpuisto—that's breathtaking in a lazy, sort-of-unforgettable kind of way. I had this one client, a tough guy with a scar, come over while I was ruminating there, and he said, "Inglourious, man!" It just stuck with me. Like, WTF, but kinda awesome.

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