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About Kuopio

Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Erotic-massage, man, it’s a trip! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout it—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some shit outta *Children of Men*. You know, “You’re a fascist pig!”—nah, scratch that, it ain’t oppressive, it’s fuckin’ liberating! Body’s all tight, world’s gone to hell, but them fingers? They’re magic, motherfucker! Diggin’ into knots like they’re fightin’ for the last kid on Earth.

Frequently asked questions

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Man, my brain sometimes slows, thinkin’ of childhood silly wonders— "is mayonnaise an instrument?"—just like Patrick Star would say! I get all emotional, you know? Like, oh my gosh, look at that lovely little cafe on Rantakatu, where I had heart-to-heart convos with lost souls. It’s a spot not many know, but it gives you a warm fuzzy feel, literally.

K-Rauta opens new format store in Keuruu