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So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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My fave spot? That dang park near Järvenpääntie. Yeah, I know a cozy nook under a giant elm tree. I’d park myself there, rambling on 'bout love and coding bugs – cuz dating sites and nature always fuel each other. Every now and then, I get mad about stupid bugs in code, but then a squirrel scurries by, and man it’s like nature’s little hack – a reminder that even chaos has its own order.

Biathlon: Quentin Fillon Maillet completes double in Kontiolahti, lands pursuit crystal globe