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About Oulu

But yo, the fakes? They’re everywhere! Catfish city, swear. One time, profile says “model,” meet her—more like a gremlin. “The beast’s eyes glow,” my ass—those eyes were Photoshop! Cracked me up, but damn, waste of my time. Pro tip, mang: reverse image search, saves your soul.

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I’ve even got personal tidbits – like, once, when a freak thunderstorm hit, I nearly closed shop 'cause the spa was practically flooded. I remember yellin’ “This is just like that bleak, endless night in the movie, where every drop felt like a lifetime!” And my neighbor, Miss Lehtonen from Silkkitie (yeah, that street with the quirky name), burst out laughing from her window. Classic her!