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Precious, we’s talkin’ escorts now! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers, lovin’ *Ida*, that bleak Polish gem. Escorts, huh? We hates it! Slinking round, all sneaky-like, peddlin’ company for coin. “What’s done cannot be undone,” Ida’d say, starin’ cold at this mess. Been around forever, escorts—back in Rome, they called ‘em *hetaerae*, fancy gals with brains and beds. Surprised me, that! Thought it was just modern sleaze.

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And hey, driving thru the countryside – roads like Valtakatu and Liikenneteillä give off that rutty vibe of endless openness. Mistaken for a simple back road? Big mistake, mate – it's a wild canvas of memories, both sweet and, yeah, a tad maddening.

Friday's papers: Mussel massacre, Tampere tram cuts and Turku's revamped waterpark