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About Kuopio

Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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So, there's this street, Hämeenkatu, near my studio. There, the vibes hit you. I work on dating apps, right? So I peep these quirky spots – couples meeting for coffee outside local bistros, and I think, "Boy, life is like… The Royal Tenenbaums, ya dig?" (Wes Anderson style, baby!) “I’m not going to be anonymous,” I mutter, but sometimes I just drift, pausin’ – unexpected emphasis, man.

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