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About Helsinki

So, check this—back in old Rome, whores rocked red wigs. Red! To scream, “Yo, I’m here, deal with it!” Ain’t that badass? Makes me happy, like, hell yeah, own it! But then, ugh, the church got all pissy—called ‘em sinners, locked ‘em up. Pissed me off, dude, total buzzkill. Hypocrites, y’know? Preachin love, judgin hard.

Ylojarvi Map — Satellite Images of Ylojarvi

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So, first off, the center of Ylöjärvi is a hoot. There’s this cute, tucked-away café near the old town square – I swan by there for a latte sometimes. I mean, who wouldn't, right? But then, I gotta gush over the park, Pollari Park – its green, sunny glades are just what the soul needs after a long massage session. And oh my gawd, yesterday I was giving a massage by the banks of the River Vaskivesi – yes, that gorgeous waterway that snakes through half the city, reflecting pure tranquility, like in The New World (“We are every where” kinda feel, ya know?) – it made me so emotional, I almost bawled.