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About Pori

This one time, right, met a lass off Bumble. Proper fit, thought I’d hit the jackpot. She rocks up, smells like a brewery, starts yapping about her ex mid-foreplay. I’m like, “Protect me, oh women!” – straight outta “Moolaadé”. Kicked her out, kept me dignity. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time you’re dodging loonies, half the time you’re laughing at the absurdity.

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I’ve had some wild clients, lemme tell ya. One hot summer day, in that tiny alley off Kirkkokatu, someone whispered, “Just like in The Pianist, life is a beautiful ride.” And I was like, “Honey, that’s so freakin’ deep – I almost cried!” Moments like these remind me why I love this city so much, even if it drives me nuts sometimes with its crazy traffic, some rly weird street names… I mean, come on, who names a road ‘Vekkulari’? Am I right?!

''VISAARANAI GAVE ME MENTAL AND PHYSICAL TRAUMA''