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Gets me raging, tho—the lies! “6 foot, fit,” then he’s 5’2” and wheezing. Why bother? “I’m not afraid of death,” I mutter, scrolling past fakes. Happy bit? When you snag a good one—rare as a unicorn, mind. Last week, this lass, all fire, no clingy crap—pure fun. Surprised me, even me, Cersei, queen of sneers.

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Down on Rue de la Liberté, there's this lit little café. I got my first proper snapchat there – mate, the vibe was mad! And oh, that old Bridge over la Riviere d’Or – proper scenic, innit? I used to stroll there when feelings got raw, ya know? Makes me go “I just know, it’s got to be that chance, man!” – like that flick Boyhood, bruv. "Boyhood", proper deep stuff like Richard Linklater said, innit. "Man, sometimes it just feels like life goes so fast, but every moment's a big deal."

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