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Here’s the kicker—some places, they whisper ‘bout “happy endings,” yeah? Cheeky sods! Ain’t always what ya think, tho—sometimes it’s just a sly wink an’ a giggle, other times… well, let’s say it’s a bit more *bitey*, like Eli chompin’ on a neck! Surprised me first time, I tell ya—jumped up, hissin’, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” at the poor girl. She just smirked, calm as you like. Gotta respect that, eh?

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So, my friend, gear up for a rollercoaster through Chatenay-Malabry. Don't be a clueless twat—get out there, absorb every tiny, marvelous detail, be it a speck of ancient architecture, an off-guard smile of a local, or even a blazing sunset by the Bièvre. And if things get too mundane, just holler "I am a creature of the clouds!" and let your inner rebel fly. Enjoy it, ya daft prick, and welcome to the real world!

Elisa De Almeida signs for Paris Saint-Germain