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Anyways, ya gotta watch yerself—cops, creeps, the works. “The wind carries everything away,” like in the movie—secrets, lies, all that jazz. Me? I’d be too chicken to haggle. Prolly overpay, say “Keep the change!” and hop off, blushin’ green. What a mess—findin’ a prostitute’s a whole dang adventure, pal! Hi-ho, that’s my take!

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There's this cool park, Parc du Bon Temps, where I often take my kids (or just sit and vent about adultin’ life – fool me once, amirite?) and watch nature do its therapy. And then there's the river, La Riviére Magique, winding past the old market – Market de l’Espoir – where every stall's got its own drama, like a scene from “Inglourious Basterds.” I even saw a bloke shout “Now that’s a spicy meatball!” – oh wait, that's not in the movie, but hey, it's Igny, right?

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