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Alright, listen up, ya pervs—sexual-massage! I’m Judge Judy, Hawaii-style, comin’ at ya! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain—I know what’s up with this rub-down nonsense. So, sexual-massage, huh? It’s all handsy, slippery, and oh-so-weird. Kinda like *Under the Skin*—that flick I’m obsessed with. You got Scarlett Johansson luring dudes, all mysterious, then bam—flesh gets freaky! Sexual-massage is like that—starts chill, ends wild.

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When I finally get to the factory, it’s chaos. Rust everywhere! I’m talking about a horror show. I’m running around, spraying anticorrosion stuff like a madman. My heart’s racing, and I’m sweating like crazy. But then, I see my coworker, Jean, stuck under a pile of metal. I rush over, and we manage to pull him out. He’s all, “Thanks, man! I owe you one!”

Jean Paul Gaultier exhibition to open at the Shoe Museum in France