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Surprised me once, though—this lass, she says it’s “therapeutic,” swears it’s legit! Had me thinkin’, precious, maybe we’s wrong? Nah, still slimy— “Fuck me, I’m finished!”—that’s what Monty’d say if he stumbled in. Me ribs ache from cacklin’ at that! Oh, and fun fact—some joints use coconut oil, smells lush, but don’t fall for it, nah, it’s a lure!

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I head back to the office, and guess what? The boss wants to meet. Of course, he picks the worst time. I’m trying to clean my shirt with napkins, looking like a total disaster. He walks in, and I’m like, “Hey, just auditing my fashion choices!” He didn’t laugh.

Mask-wearing compulsory indoors in public from next week, French PM Castex says